No good barbecue? What?!

Now everyone stay calm.

A reader, Ty Caston, e-mailed me to say that after a year in Charlotte he's yet to find "a decent place for barbecue."

"I am from Georgia, where there is a BBQ shack on every corner, but in Charlotte I can't even find a place that knows what Brunswick stew is. Any suggestions?"

Oh boy, Ty, you certainly have opened a can of baked beans. People here have very strong opinions about their barbecue.

Let me share my two favorites: Bill Spoon's -- Eastern style -- and Mac's Speedshop -- upscale biker bar. Both on South Boulevard.

I prefer pulled pork to beef brisket. Ribs aren't my thing but I once thoroughly enjoyed them at the famous Dreamland in Tuscaloosa, Ala. I like vinegar sauce if it's not too tart and red sauce so long as it's not cloyingly sweet. And I like to put the slaw on top of the meat.

I asked some colleagues to weigh in. Some did. And some wouldn't -- they are plain tired of the barbecue battle.

Tommy Tomlinson, who's also from Georgia, called Spoon's and Mac's the best in town but "he best in the WORLD is about an hour away to the west (Bridges' in Shelby) and the east (Lexington #1 in Lexington)."

Mark Price shared this:
"Being from Memphis, which is a big pork barbecue place, I've taken much grief over this issue. In Memphis, they had barbecue places all over, like they have hamburger joints in Charlotte. When I first moved to N.C., I lived in Fayetteville, in the eastern part of N.C. and they served this vinegar-soaked slop called barbecue. Tasted more like the innards of a well-roasted scrub pine.
When I criticized the alleged barbecue, I was told that people from Memphis like 'ketchup on their barbecue,' which alluded to the fact that we like sauce you can see and taste, rather than the vinegar-kerosene mixture preferred in Eastern N.C.
Anyway, I find that the barbecue is a little more edible in Charlotte, and I prefer Mac's on South Boulevard to most places. In Lexington, I go to the Bar-b-que Center, where the barbecue is pretty darn good. They also have this red colored slaw, which something we never had in Memphis.
One more big complaint: Here, "baked beans" are warmed over Van Camp's Pork & Beans that settle on your plate like brown sludge. In Memphis, baked beans have barbecue sauce, along with onions, spices and chips of fresh cooked pork. I don't even order beans in this state any more, because it's like something from a Chef Boyardee can."

OK, people, bring it on. What are your barbecue suggestions?

Left Ohio and looking for friends

I got an e-mail today from Kristen Montgomery, who moved to Charlotte a month ago from Cleveland. Kristen, 26, and husband Jesse, 29, are looking for newcomer groups to join.

"I've heard there are some active 'New to Charlotte' groups here, but I've been having a hard time figuring out where to find them or how to join. Could you help me with that? I was able to find the Charlotte Young Professionals group you mentioned in one of your previous articles, but we're looking for ones that are specifically for newbies like us."

No problem, Kristen.

Meetup.com is a good place to turn to find groups by interest. For example, I found the Charlotte Singles, Nightlife, and New In Town Meetup Group. There are lots of fun-sounding groups on Meetup but this is the only one I found with "new" in the name.

If you have a church, you might check to see if it has fellowship for newcomers. Several area churches -- St. Matthew Catholic Church in Ballantyne and Christ Covenant Church in Matthews come to mind -- offer a program called Moving On After Moving In.

Keep in mind, though, that many young professionals groups here are going to have plenty of new-to-town members. That's just Charlotte. I suggest these:

Kiwanis Uptown. Unlike traditional, older Kiwanis clubs, this one caters to young professionals 21 to 35. I went to a recent meeting and found that many of the members are new to Charlotte. For more on Kiwanis Uptown, check out my upcoming Sunday column.

Charlotte Jaycees. Another volunteer and networking group for 20- and 30-somethings.

Young Affiliates of the Mint. Professionals ages 21-45 to get involved in the Mint museums through educational and social events.

Any other groups Kristen and Jesse should know about? Post them here.

What do you really think about Living Here?

I want to hear your ideas for the annual Living Here magazine. Producing it is a big part of my job.

Please let me here how to make the magazine more useful and relevant to your life. E-mail your suggestions to me at abaldwin@charlotteobserver.com. Include your name and telephone because I'm raffling off a prize. For more details, click here.

Even McDonald's is upscale in SouthPark

It's funny what strikes people when they visit a new place.

Take Bonnie from East Rochester, N.H., who e-mailed me today about her recent Charlotte stay. It was her first. She was visitng her son.

"He took me to all the sights that you mentioned (in previous posts), PLUS we also went to see the Calvary church, which looks like a big pink tiara. It thoroughly impressed my five-year-old granddaughter. And we saw the Duke Mansion, went to SouthPark mall and to the McDonald's there, which has balconies on the second floor and a grand piano and a chandelier in the lobby! Again, my granddaughter thought it was stupendous. I also found it interesting just to drive around and see the area as the mostly brick homes are a contrast to our New England wood-frame houses. I'm looking forward to seeing more of the area on my next visit."

Bonnie, I love that you mention that McDonald's. I was also struck by that when I moved here in 2003. I can say with confidence there aren't any grand pianos in McDonald's in New York City, where I lived before moving here. Along the same lines, I will never forget stepping into a grocery store (the Harris Teeter on East Boulevard) for the first time to see a huge display of Pellegrino sparkling water. Quite a change from where I shopped in New York -- Key Food in Astoria, Queens and Pathmark in Long Island City, Queens.

Your favorite bars

Hey, readers, do you play pub trivia? I'm looking for your favorite bars for trivia nights. You know where you answer Trivial Pursuit-style questions for pitchers of Coors Light or pints of Guinness. Please let me know.

If you post here and send a copy of it to my e-mail I'll put your name in a raffle for a prize drawing. Thanks!

Pushy neighbors?

A colleague of mine, Alisha, and her husband recently bought their first house. They aren't new to Charlotte but they are new to their neighborhood. Alisha wants to know the proper way to meet the neighbors. Her e-mail to me goes like this:

"Is it appropriate to go up to our neighbors' doors and introduce ourselves? Do we try to hold a small BBQ or something and leave 'invitations' for
people we've never met before? Is the best way to meet them through the
neighborhood association meetings? We want to be friendly, but we
don't want to be pushy."

My husband and I have gotten to know our neighbors but not through any overt or planned efforts. One neighbor -- who turns out I went to high school with back in Ohio -- brought over a bottle of wine. Other neighbors we met when everyone was outside doing yardwork or while dog walking. We've BBQ'd with neighbors once we've gotten to know them.

My advice: Chat up your neighbors when you happen to see them around. Let these relationships build kind of naturally. Maybe offer to get someone's newspapers if you know they're leaving town and perhaps they'll be likely to return the favor. Just be .. well .. neighborly.

What has or hasn't worked for you?

Can't wait to get out of here? Or, never want to move again?

I have lived in Charlotte for four and a half years, longer than I've lived anywhere since graduating college.

How long will I stay?

I don't know.

But I will tell you this, my column today makes staying put sound pretty good. It's about a family's arduous cross-country move from Park City, Utah to Charlotte. I challenge you to come up with a better moving tale of woe. Got one? Let me hear it. Post it hear and send me a copy at abaldwin@charlotteobserver.com.

Oh, and how long do you plan to be in Charlotte? Tell me that too. Thanks!