A colleague of mine, Alisha, and her husband recently bought their first house. They aren't new to Charlotte but they are new to their neighborhood. Alisha wants to know the proper way to meet the neighbors. Her e-mail to me goes like this:
"Is it appropriate to go up to our neighbors' doors and introduce ourselves? Do we try to hold a small BBQ or something and leave 'invitations' for
people we've never met before? Is the best way to meet them through the
neighborhood association meetings? We want to be friendly, but we
don't want to be pushy."
My husband and I have gotten to know our neighbors but not through any overt or planned efforts. One neighbor -- who turns out I went to high school with back in Ohio -- brought over a bottle of wine. Other neighbors we met when everyone was outside doing yardwork or while dog walking. We've BBQ'd with neighbors once we've gotten to know them.
My advice: Chat up your neighbors when you happen to see them around. Let these relationships build kind of naturally. Maybe offer to get someone's newspapers if you know they're leaving town and perhaps they'll be likely to return the favor. Just be .. well .. neighborly.
What has or hasn't worked for you?
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Pushy neighbors?
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15 comments:
Heck yeah I'm a pushy neighbor. I not only push, but I shove, kick and spit, too. I only do it because I presume my neighbor is from "up north" and it's only a matter of time before it all sinks to that anyway with those people. (I'm secretly hoping to turn this into another North vs. South tirade - c'mon, don't let me down!) Nothing says "Welcome neighbor!" like a fresh knuckle sandiwch.
What if the person if from the west?
West is ok.
I don't think Amy minds the North-South tirades. More page views = higher bonus.
I usually wait until the neighbor builds an illegal fence, then call 311 anonymously. That's the southern way.
What's a BBQ? We have cookouts or "grill out" here in Charlotte :-). BBQ is a noun and subject to much debate as to the correct preparation.
The best way to meet neighbors in our neighborhood is to be outside, and not in a hurry. Take a walk and don't be in a hurry, stop and chat with every new neighbor. Buy a flat of flowers and plant them slowly by your mailbox, where neighbors can come up to you and chat. When you mow your lawn, stop the lawnmower when you see a neighbor and chat. The weather is so nice now that people ought to be lingering outside. If they're not, instead of a big meal that people might feel obligated to repay, you could have an open house with light snacks. The BBQ idea isn't bad though - a few years back, new neighbors threw a pig-pickin' shortly after they'd moved in to celebrate a big anniversary, and invited the whole neighborhood. Boy were we happy they moved in! Oh, and for the pig pickin', they put tables in their driveway, so the party was outside and anyone who happened to walk by was offered a plate of 'cue.
BBQ is something you eat from a pig. Someone please go to your local Lowes and/or Home Depot and ask for the section where the BBQ's are. :)
On another note, our neighborhood has small community pool parties and pot lucks, so that's another way
There seems to be some disagreement over the use of the term "BBQ" Or maybe even over "barbeque."
Barbeque ( or BBQ) is a noun when it refers to a type of food. It can also be an adjective, i.e. "barbequed beef." It's also used to describe an event in other parts of the country, i.e. "Let's have a barbeque this weekend and invite all the pushy neighbors."
It can also be used as a verb, i.e. "Let's barbeque." Similar to the expression, "Let's rodeo."
It's all semantics. Use of the word depends on where you live or where you're from.
Don't argue about it. Just do it. Or eat the stuff. Whatever.
Jeez.
pretty sure the BBQ was a joke. guess you are from up north. relax guy
When I first moved in one of the guys on our dead-end street of about 30 homes came over and asked me to update the "Neighborhood Details Sheet". It was basically a drawing of the two streets that we have on our end and each house had a box, in the box was the names of the parent(s) and kids or whoever lived there, the ages (birthdays) and phone numbers. This immediately put me in touch with not only the guy who was circulating the information but everyone else on the street. I still don't know EVERYONE but I felt it was a pretty cool way of doing things. Everyone has a copy of this sheet and if something weird is going on or you just want to say HI then you reference the map.
I crack the ice by telling People my Great Grandfather was Hiram U. Grant and hope they are from the North when they hear this. But when I was in Ohio I once had to rush out with my trash because the trash truck was coming up the road, I slipped on a pair opf my wifes High heels because they were the only shoes in the garage. When I arrived at the truck some of my new neighbors were on the blind side of the truck; Of course you could imagine what they thought when they saw their new neighbor, Me, running around in high heels. Many People didnt talk to me for a long while.
I like to put plastic pink flamingos in the front yard for the first few days and watch out my windows at their looks; Or try wrapping a towel around your head, as if it was a middle east turbine and start doing yard work and whistle Middle eastern new age songs.
Also Charlotte has a lot of SWINGERS so you could be giving the Green light for something down the road; Once I had a Neighbor that was an ex-playboy bunny and very attractive ; She told me her and her last husband were swingers and wanted to know where she could find other couples. She told me that Charlotte was loaded with it in her last neighborhood. Im a liberal so it didnt bother me none.
'There seems to be some disagreement over the use of the term "BBQ"'
There's no disagreement over the term barbeque. Yankees who use the word as a verb are just wrong.
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