Yesterday I spoke to a group of about 25 women at St. Matthew Catholic Church in Ballantyne. Most of them have been here just a few months, all of them less than a year, and they are taking a class called Moving On After Moving In. (A dozen or so churches around here offer the program, so call yours or the one you are thinking of joining to find out if it does.)
Anyhow, the women seemed upbeat and mostly happy to be in Charlotte. They were a really fun group. (Thanks for having me, ladies.) But two of the women spoke very honestly. One said that people here are "friendly but not welcoming." Another said she was denied membership to a moms club (she thinks it might have been too crowded but she said she didn't get a real explanation or suggestion for alternate club).
I like honest answers. Tell me about your experience. Did you feel welcomed to Charlotte? And if you have been here a while, do you feel differently now than you did to start?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Is Charlotte really welcoming to newcomers?
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43 comments:
Charlotte has the worst people than any other city in NC. Lived there for 13 years and could not wait to get out! Most parents are under the assumption that their children are angels and its everyones elses children that misbehave. What a bunch of hooey! People are rude, obnoxious, maybe its because most are from the Northeast! Best thing I ever did was get out of NC!
My wife and I have been in Charlotte almost a year. We moved from Atlanta after I was laid off from my job. Even though it too me 6 months to find a job here, I couldn't be happier about the move. My wife and I often discuss how glad we are that we made the decision to move. After living in Atlanta for 30 years, Charlotte is like heaven. The people are nicer, the roads are not as congested and Charlotte is much more chic and trendy.
Charlotte is very welcoming! I am from NY and lived here for 13 years. Anyone who thinks Charlotte is not welcoming probably misses their hometown or has their own issues. Everyone in Charlotte is from somewhere else which makes them eager to meet new people. Thats what makes Charlotte so neat. Also, those that grew up here have been very friendly and welcoming. If you don't agree, get that chip off your shoulder!
"Friendly but not welcoming." sounds about right. I think that if you were a newcomer to Charlotte 20 or 30 years ago you may have found the people welcoming. Unfortunately after many years of putting up with obnoxious carpetbaggers, native Charlotteans have started to close off their social networks. It doesn't surprise me in the least that one of the women you spoke to was shut out of a mother's group.
Amy's back to her old tricks again. Baiting people in order to drive traffic to your blog is weak sauce. She must have studied at the Lawrence Toppman school of "journalism."
Are you kidding me? Charlotte bends over backwards to welcome newcomers, while at the same time completely ignoring natives. We do everything for them--we import their food they miss from "home" (home being NY or NJ) that this native has never heard of nor liked, we welcome them and their multiple obnoxious children to our already overburdened school system, we give them all jobs at Wachovia and BOA uptown, and yet they still complain. Outrageous! Anon 8:45 has it right. We're tired of people coming here, tired of the overcrowding, tired of the rudeness and entitlement attitude of these strangers. Southern Hospitality only goes so far, and mine is done.
I love Charlotte! Moved here 18 years ago!! I have lived several other places large and small..It is all in what you make of it!! Be positive and enjoy life..best climate ever!!
I've been welcomed by the majority of people that I have met since April. I have joined a few groups and am even a part of a leadership program now.
Overall I feel that most have been welcoming although I can see some strain that natives have with folks who relocate.
I guess I'd have to put the show on the other foot to really see and understand how they feel with newcomers. For example, the longer I am here I begin to notice the sprawl issues.
But what I have noticed too is that Charlotteans can be their own worst enemy...the crime and school system issues are overstated. Just ask anyone who relocated from Detroit, DC or someplace similar.
Cheer up CLTeans, its beautiful here and the reason why people move is because we respect its beauty and wish to share in it!
put the show = put the shoe (typed too fast)
I've been here for about 2 years and absolutely love it. I have found people to be extremely welcoming and friendly. I think the difference is though that when I came here I left my 'NY attitude' in NY. I have met several people who have moved here from the NE who are so obnoxious and think they are better than everyone else. I now don't like to even admit I'm from NY because of that. It doesn't matter where you are from or where you go to - if you are rude and obnoxious you're not going to get a real warm reception.
I came to Charlotte 8 years ago for college, and in the process fell in love with the city and decided to stay after graduation. I just loved the fact Charlotte had big city amenities, but retained that small town Southern feel. At the turn of the 21st century, Charlotte was still a somewhat sleepy town, but was just starting to wake up. Downtown was still essentially an office park that rolled up it's sidewalks after 5. Being new to the city during this time was very exciting... I felt like I was growing up right along with the city, at an exponential rate, discovering the potential we both held. I've made the best, most real, and honest friends I've ever had in this town. It wasn't an overnight thing to find such a special group of people, but I never once felt any doors were closed to me. Like others have mentioned, Charlotte is mainly a city of transplants, who are also eager to find their niche in the scheme of things.
If I were to be a new transplant to the city today, would I have the same experience? I'm not entirely certain. So much has gone down in Charlotte since 2000. The city has grown a huge amount, downtown and the inner city neighborhoods have become so chic, and we have nearly world class amenities and shopping now. Has this made Charlotte a bit less accessible to the newcomer? Probably. Until 2 weeks ago, we were the second largest banking center in America, and for an extremely brief time (a week maybe?), we had more banking assets here than even NYC. No doubt all this made Charlotte a bit cockier and more elitist towards newcomers.
On the other hand, I would hardly base any studies on Charlotte newcomers from a church group in Ballantyne. Those two things combined, you can't get much more elitist in Charlotte than that. For those of us whole live in what I consider to be the 'real' Charlotte (within 3 miles or so of downtown), Ballantyne might as well be another country. It's a suburban enclave of nothing but wealthy, white, preppy, conservatives who live in McMansions. There is SO much more diversity to this city than that. Is Ballantyne elitist and cold towards newcomers? Most likely. Is Charlotte that way towards new folks in general? I still don't think so. The reality is this town thrives on newcomers, and I don't think anyone is forgetting that just yet.
All are welcome except those that think they are still in the same (apparently obnoxious) place they came from. This is the genteel South folks: we do things differently here: slow down and get used to it. It's part of the way of life which lots of new folks must love. You don't have to get in someone's face here; politeness helps. Say "please," "thank you" and "yes sir or ma'am" a lot. Chew with your mouth closed. Hold the door for your neighbor; stop tailgating and let somebody in traffic if you're stopped. These are some of the little things that locals like me have grown up doing and people appreciate the gestures. It adds to your quality of life along with the fact that you can get outside more than 3 months a year and you don't have to plug your car in during winter.
I'm surprised that no one has picked up on the fact that the group of women Amy spoke with were attending an event at a Catholic church. I imagine that a group of Southern Baptist women would feel that Charlotte was a welcoming community.
"enclave of nothing but wealthy, white, preppy, conservatives who live in McMansions"
Sorry thought you were talking about Myers Park for a minute. 3 miles from down town is the "real charlotte" get over yourself.
Anon @ 9:41: You write "wealthy, white, preppy, conservatives who live in McMansions" as if having those attributes were a BAD thing.
Wealthy, white, preppy, conservatives who live in McMansions are what Charlotte is all about! People keep moving here because they want to live the dream.
I will be moving to Charlotte soon from Florida. I've been in FL for 20 years - prior upstate NY - so I'll be a "half-back". I've heard that people are more worried about ice storms in winter than the hurricanes. Is that true? Here in FL feared 20 ft storm surges from hurricanes (city in storm's path)& I lived in an evacuation zone. There's lots of rivers and creeks in Charlotte. If I move to a non-flood zone, would I be ok?
There are McMansions in Myers Park? Must be brand new. People in Ballentyne act snobby because they don't live in Myers Park or Eastover, can't get their kids into Country Day and won't even be considered for membership at Charlotte Country Club. They think they are important and can't stand that nobody else does.
^ The short version: People in Ballentyne are new money Yankees.
Southerners need to get over themselves. I know you like to think you are, but you aren't perfect either! Lets face it, none of you will make derogatory "yankee" comments to someone's face. Instead, you get on the Charlotte Observer and post your ignorant comments. What these people should be saying is that it depends on the persons attitude (and this applies to anywhere in the world not just Charlotte). If you have a bad attitude, people will not be welcoming. If you have a good one, people will be welcoming.
Now, back to the ignorants. Only a select few CITIES in NC are growing and changing. This is more of an urban/suburban vs. rural situation more than a North vs. South one (Northerners are not the only ones moving here but I am sure you have just about as many issues with all the other people too, of course).
Many parts of NC remain rural and always will and the rural areas of this state are no different then the rural areas all over our country. I know some of you are worried about your "superior culture" being obliterated (which it won't be - maybe in the cities but for most of the state nothing will really change). By culture, I mean the simple, rural lifestyle many of you are used to which is no different from the rural lifestyle of other people all over this country. Basically, you and your way of life really aren't anymore special than anyone else, sorry.
You really don't understand a thing about the South. Yes, the rural/urban divide has something to do with it but that isn't the whole story on what makes us Southern. I'm sorry that you feel so threatened because you'll never be accepted as one of us.
I don't think any of us really care if we aren't "accepted" as one of you. You aren't that special.
As one of the foolish people who read Living Here and then decided to do it, you will always hold a special place in my heart -- like the guy who tried to get me in his van when I was 7 by offering me candy. Fortunately I found Asheville and that brings me some degree of sanity. Maybe you should lay off the hometown cheers for a few weeks. "Charlotte has a lot" of people who are going to lose their jobs.
Charlotte may have a lot of people who are going to lose their jobs, but Asheville is full of people who can't hold jobs. I mean come on, every kid from North Carolina who thinks the point of high school and college is to smoke copious amounts of pot ends up in Asheville. They either sit on a street corner and play an obscure instrument for change or work at a shop that sells hemp or tie-dye discussing the merits of Phish over Widespread Panic.
Northerners shouldn't get on their high horse in regards to the South either. Name one good thing that has ever come out of New Jersey. If you took every bad thing about the south and combined it, New Jersey would still make look pleasant.
I don't think any of us really care if we aren't "accepted" as one of you. You aren't that special.
Yeah, you don't care what other people think of you. Bitter much?
Why should somebody care about what some ignorant redneck thinks of them? They are not a representation of the majority of the people here.
www.gobacktoohio.com
www.gobacktoohio.com Rocks. Thanks for posting that. Personally, I think folks not from Ohio or SC would have a real hard time deciding who the bigger redneck is, but I appreciate the debate.
Ohio is the other hilljack state. They should get along with the people here just fine.
Hoboken and hackensac NEW JERSEy produced the powerful CITIBANK . Lets face it Peple from Charlotte Hate anyone who wasnt born here ; Now Wachovia will close and everyone should be satisfied at all the fighting online ; Larger States are telling People not to come to CHARLOTTE; Next Harris Teeter will be the only employer thats whats happening here.
look Im just telling you Charlotte is about to get creamed with tons of BANK lay offs ; NEWCOMERS skip this State and go else where . FACT MANY People who worked at WACHOVIA have lost their entire 401K when it fell to .90 cents a share all the rich insiders walked with all the cash ; WACHOVIA was an inside bank theft from the stock. NOW People will get laid off , cant sell their house and no 401K and out in the woods with the 10,000 homeless in Charlotte they try to hide. All your eggs in one basket IDIOTS
Face it all banks are finaced by the Federal Government ; Those Idiots print off that phony balony paper in your wallet and then ship it to LOAN officers who have degrees in FIDDLE STICKS . The 700 billion is pocket change and the bill is more like ten trillion dollars to clean the mess up; So get printing the CABBAGE Uncle sam. Soon China and he rest of the WORLD wont take our money , they want gold or diamonds or our children.
People like THOMPSON and KEN LEWIS everyday pee off the Bank tower on the People in Charlotte. Has any of you ever felt lik rain drops falling from BANK or AMERICA yes thats yellow rain ; when you make big bucks you can tinkle on people.
Wow, I'm stunned at the display of anger, bitterness, class warfare, and religious bigotry in these posts. What an unfortunate way to respond to newcomers or anyone. I imagine if a person relates to others in this manner, others would likely not be very welcoming. If you are new to Charlotte, in whatever part of the city or surrounding area, please do not let these posters' comments distress you. Except for what I've read here (and my experiences at the DMV!), I have found Charlotte to be extremely friendly and welcoming in the 15 months I've been here. People - whether native or transplants - smile and talk with you pretty much where ever you go. I do think joining groups helps - getting involved in your neighborhood, church, kids' schools, etc. will make it easier to make friends and feel at home, no matter where you move to. Why you move also makes a difference - whether you wanted to or felt forced to, as well as all the other variables that go into relocating. I've moved a lot and have lived in unfriendly, unwelcoming places, and Charlotte is the opposite. Our family is happy and blessed to be in Charlotte.
I have been here six years and wait until the honeymoon is over; I have met People that go to church that also practice witchcraft and Satanic on the side; Most People are in a group society where they meet in obscure places and this isnt the MASONS or Eastern Star these are other groups doing this secret organization thing; I met one girl that was a playboy bunny in FLORIDA who was in swing clubs in their neighborhood and then they all went to the same church together; Look I dont condemn this action but this is real strange to me. I have met People who are in groups that the Government knows nothing about and thats pecular. I once lived at the VINNINGS in Matthews and People were living there under assumed names and would leave thei doors open and people would just walk in without knocking , but they would look around first so no one would see them.
Once I lived in Matthews in an apartment and a bomb or drug sniffing dog crapped in my apartment and the cops left it there for me to clean up. I was shocked and I do have a witness they were stunned. This dog had to be a GERMAN SHEPARD. I had some fireworks in a bag next to the outside wall and the doggie picked up the scent ILL bet.
It makes me sad to see such hatred in the posts from both transplants and people originally from Charlotte. I was born and raised here and love Charlotte. I also love that the people who have moved here from other places have helped shaped this city to what it is today. All places have issues and not all people are welcoming. I think that can be said of any place. Everyone needs to step back and see that we are all humans and saying such ugly things to others is really unnecessary. As for not being welcomed into a mom's group- just find another one or even start your own. Also- it is really unhealthy to look down on other people based on where they live. This whole city is real Charlotte- whether you live in Ballantyne, Myers Park or somewhere else. Everyone should just chill.
I am sorry to say that Charlotte is absolutely NOT a friendly place for newcomers. I lived in Asheville for years and when my husband got a job transfer here, I was not thrilled, but willing. I have not enjoyed it at all. There is nothing positive here that I can't get elsewhere. We enjoy the Knights babseball games, but can go to the Tourists in Asheville, NFL games are ok, but the parking and traffic are a mess, we go to the clubs here but are concerned about the crime at night, housing costs are more here, traffic is atrocious. People are all in such a hurry that you rarely get a kind word from anyone. AND, if you are lost or break down, forget any assistance! People would just as soon run you over as help you.
Rude, rude, people!
And I'm tired of hearing people saying it's the northerner transplants who are rude here - that is totally untrue! It's the locals who are rude - probably b/c they are inundated by northerners and it's easier to be hateful to everyone, than to try to weed out the good ones. That's certainly racist, isn't it?!
But Asheville is a beautiful city surrounded by majestic mountains. The only place there was any hippie crap was downtown, and you could choose to see it or just stay away.
If my husband would say we could move back to Asheville, I'd quit my job and start packing right now!
And as for Charlotte being the city of churches?? We have lived here over a year and have not been invited to church by anyone, not in my professional office nor my husbands as an upper management professional. There may be churches, but where are the Christians?
Also, we live in an upper class subdivision, and only one neighbor has visited us - in over a year!
I reiterate my point - Charlotte is absolutely not friendly!
of all the positive things you could've pulled out of talking with this group of women, this is what you have to say? you should be ashamed, perhaps next time you can post a blog about things women can do to get more involved in Charlotte.
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